How to Start Building Self-Esteem—One Thought at a Time
Low self-esteem can quietly shape how we think, feel, and behave—often without us even realizing it. It influences the way we talk to ourselves, how we navigate relationships, and whether we believe we're capable of creating meaningful change.
At Crosby DBT of Seattle, I work with individuals who feel stuck in cycles of self-doubt, shame, or harsh self-criticism. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone—and it is absolutely possible to build a healthier relationship with yourself.
Here are several concrete ways to start increasing self-esteem, even during challenging times:
1. Notice Your Inner Dialogue
Self-esteem is often shaped by the way we speak to ourselves. If your internal voice is critical or punishing, it’s time to get curious—not judgmental. Start by simply noticing your thoughts. Ask: Would I say this to someone I care about?
2. Challenge Unhelpful Beliefs
We all carry old messages from the past—some that no longer serve us. Write down the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then ask: Is this true? Where did I learn this? What’s the evidence against it? This is the first step in rewriting the story.
3. Set Small, Achievable Goals
Self-esteem grows through action. Start with realistic goals that reflect your values—whether that’s reaching out to a friend, completing a task you've been avoiding, or simply getting out of bed on a hard day. Every success builds trust in yourself.
4. Surround Yourself with Affirming People
Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Seek out relationships where you feel seen, respected, and supported. The people around us influence how we see ourselves more than we think.
5. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
You don’t have to be “healed” to be worthy. Start noticing small wins—like speaking up for yourself, taking a break when you need it, or simply naming how you feel. These are powerful acts of self-worth.
6. Seek Professional Support
Therapy can help you explore the root causes of low self-esteem and give you tools to build a stronger, more compassionate sense of self. You don’t have to do this work alone.
Self-esteem isn’t about ego or perfection—it’s about knowing your value and treating yourself with the care you deserve. It’s a process, not a destination. And every step toward self-kindness matters.
If you’re ready to begin that journey, I’m here to help.
At Crosby DBT of Seattle, I offer therapy for individuals navigating complex trauma, emotional dysregulation, and identity struggles. Together, we’ll work to rebuild confidence, clarity, and connection—one step at a time.
📍 Learn more or schedule a consultation at www.crosbydbt.com
