Making Peace with What You Can’t Change: The Power of Acceptance
Life doesn’t always go the way we planned. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things fall apart. Grief, rejection, illness, uncertainty—these experiences aren’t easy, and yet they’re a part of being human.
At Crosby DBT of Seattle, I work with individuals who are navigating these difficult moments. Whether you’re facing something you didn’t choose or struggling with emotional pain that won’t go away, one thing can make a powerful difference: radical acceptance.
What Is Acceptance?
Acceptance isn’t about giving up. It doesn’t mean liking or approving of what's happened. It simply means seeing reality as it is—without denial, resistance, or self-blame.
When we resist what’s painful, we often add suffering to the pain. We spiral into “why me,” “this isn’t fair,” or “I can’t handle this.” These thoughts are normal, but they keep us stuck.
Acceptance allows us to soften into the truth of the moment. It helps us stop fighting what is, so we can begin responding to it with wisdom and care.
Why Acceptance Matters
It brings clarity. When we stop fighting reality, we can see more clearly what we actually need.
It reduces emotional suffering. Acceptance doesn’t remove pain, but it prevents the extra suffering that comes from resistance.
It opens the door to action. Ironically, accepting what we can’t change makes space to change what we can.
How to Practice Acceptance
1. Name what’s happening.
Use simple, nonjudgmental language. “This is hard.” “This hurts.” “I didn’t want this to happen.” Naming your experience brings compassion and grounding.
2. Breathe through it.
The body reacts to pain with tension. Try pausing and taking a deep, slow breath. Let your shoulders soften. Let yourself just be with what’s here—even if it’s uncomfortable.
3. Notice when you’re resisting.
Pay attention to the urge to fix, avoid, or fight the feeling. Gently ask, “What would it be like to just allow this moment?”
4. Remind yourself: It’s okay to not be okay.
Suffering is part of life—not a personal failure. You don’t have to go through it alone, and you don’t have to solve it all at once.
Acceptance is a skill—one that can be practiced, nurtured, and strengthened over time. And the more we learn to accept the hard things, the more peace, resilience, and freedom we can find within them.
If you're ready to explore this work in therapy, I'm here to support you.
At Crosby DBT of Seattle, I offer individual and group therapy for those navigating intense emotions, trauma, identity challenges, and life transitions. Together, we can make room for healing—no matter where you're starting.
Learn more or schedule a free consult at www.crosbydbt.com
